Ageing Backwards

Remember the title of that Bryan Adams hit, “18 Till I Die”? Why eighteen? It’s the age at which you enter college, have no responsibilities, enjoy all your newfound freedom and  parents still send you money… all of which make it a very desirable age indeed.

Except if you’re a 5-6 year old like my daughter. This year, she moved from the small school to the big school. Apparently the heavier bag, long and boring assembly, longer hours, more studies and less playtime at school, more homework, monthly tests are all making her realize the downsides of growing older! She told my wife that she wished one could age in reverse: old to middle age to youth to toddler to baby so that your “troubles” decreased as you went along, not increased.

Kiddo, you’re not the first one to have that idea. Standup comedian George Carlin beat you to that thought:

“I think the life cycle is all backwards.

You should die first; get it out of the way.

Then you live in an old age home.

You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch,

you go to work.

You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You drink alcohol, you party,

you get ready for high school.

You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb.”

They even made that Brad Pitt movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, about a man who ages in reverse. First one or not, it’s amusing that a kid can already feel this way…

But, my wife argued, what’s the fun for you in being a baby? You’d be helpless, lie in one place, not be able to move around or play: how’s that fun for you? Oh, said my daughter, then I guess I’ll stop when I am 6.

I guess “6 Till I Die” is the new “18 Till I Die”! And maybe she just came up with the storyline for a Hollywood movie, Benjamin Button: Paused.