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Jon Stewart's Commencement Address

Jon Stewart gave the commencement address at his alma mater the year they gave him an honourary doctorate, 2012. Given his occupation (he’s a comedian), you know what kind of address he’d have made. He started with something most people feel about, well, everything: “I had forgotten how crushingly dull these ceremonies are.” He then reassured parents about the language he’d use by saying: “I want to assure you that you will not hear any language that is not common at, say, a dock workers union meeting, or Tourrett’s convention, or profanity seminar.” He thanked the university for the honourary doctorate: “It has always been a dream of mine to receive a doctorate and to know that today, without putting in any effort, I will. It’s incredibly gratifying. Thank you.” And in the next breath, remarked on the falling standards of the university! “When I think back to the people that have been in this position (being awarded an honourary doctorate) before me from Benjamin Fr...