Irresistible Force v/s Immovable Object

There was this time a few years back when my then 3 or 4 year old daughter wanted to apply nail polish on me. Reluctantly, I gave in but told her it could only be on the toe nails. Those I could cover with socks, I reasoned. And they’d go away with enough scrubbing or soap, I thought. Boy, it was one of the worst decisions I made. It was a nightmare having to wear socks every time I went out in peak summer. And nail polish doesn’t come off easily, I realized too late.

Ever since, I’ve said No to pretty much every girl-y nonsense she’s wanted to try on me. Mostly I’ve been able to stand my ground, and the few exceptions have been plain sailing compared to that nail polish fiasco.

I assumed the next big battles will happen only when she’s a teenager. Like she disapproving of how I dress. Or how I look. So I have peace on this front for a long time to come: after all, she’s only 6 now.

They say kids learn things/do things faster and earlier these days. Apparently trying to control what parents should wear falls in that bucket. The other day, I wore an old kurta that I found lieing somewhere. She’d never seen me in one before and disapproved of it instantly. She tried shaming me about it, but I’ve now had 6 years of experience to brush aside her criticisms of me with the contempt they deserve.

The next day, I went to pick her up from the bus stop in that same kurta. She was horrified. She can’t say it in these terms yet, but the reaction seemed to say, “It’s bad enough that you wear that thing at home, but to wear it outside too? And to be seen with me in that thing? Are you trying to embarrass me in front of my friends or what?”

Unlike the nail polish incident though, kiddo, this time the irresistible force is meeting the immovable object. It’s game on!

Comments

  1. Ramiah KumarMarch 2, 2018 at 8:56 PM

    This time around, it is more into child psychology! Well presented and the literary merit, as usual, shows.

    Parenting is a fabulous experience. There are many who don't miss out on details, while some parents may not notice and appreciate as much. In fewer cases, like this blog writer, not only one enjoys but shares in a way others live the same moments of child-parent view point exchange.

    It is sheer joy for grandparents like ours, whose relationship with grandchildren is wholesomely benign. It is the joy of experiencing child's ways, while leaving the responsibility part with the parents. Very convenient it is for doting on grandchildren! :-)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Student of the Year

Image
As a toddler, my daughter loved Alia Bhatt’s songs, esp. the ones from Student of the Year . (That movie did have many good songs and well-choreographed dances). Fast forward to present day, when she is 12 yo. She rarely watches Hindi movies now, but one of the few ones she likes of late, Raja aur Rani ki Prem Kahani has, yes, Alia Bhatt.   If I had any hopes that there was anything to be read in the name of her toddler-time favorite ( Student of the Year ), they have been dashed. Our conversations come exam time are perfectly captured by this photo and its caption: In fact, the pic below captures how she and I look at her answer sheets – me intently, she with an expression of “It’s over, so why are you even looking at it?”   Of late, we pull her leg and tell her that she isn’t showing any signs of academic prowess, she’d better find a rich guy to marry. Some time later, she showed us this meme on the Internet: “Me No Study, Me No Care Me Go Marry Millionaire If He Die
Read more

Why we Deceive Ourselves

In their book, The Elephant in the Brain , the authors describe this weird aspect of deception that we practice: deceiving ourselves! That is so weird: “If our minds contain maps of our worlds, what good comes from having an inaccurate version of these maps?” The Sigmund Freud school of thought treats self-deception as a defense mechanism, “a way for the ego to protect itself”. The mind seeks to protect itself from anxiety and other negative emotions. Many object to this reasoning: since accurate information is so critical to our survival, surely distorting information would be dangerous. Wouldn’t the goal of protecting our self-esteem have been better achieved by making the brain’s self-esteem mechanism stronger instead? The new school of thought explains self-deception as “primarily outward-facing, manipulative, and ultimately self-serving”. This is based on Thomas Schelling’s work on game theory: “In a variety of scenarios, limiting or sabotaging yourself is the winn
Read more

Handling of the Satyam Scam

The Satyam scam. How does that fit into Montek Singh Ahluwalia’s book on reforms in India, Backstage ? The reason is that, as both NASSCOM and the government of India felt: “(Satyam’s) collapse would create a great deal of disruption for clients worldwide and seriously damage India’s reputation as a reliable source of software services.”   Therefore, the government decided to work with the private sector to “organize a quick takeover by a reputable new buyer, who would quickly restart the company”. But that could not be done overnight. In the meantime, the new board would have to reach out to Satyam’s clients and “reassure them that the company would survive”.   For the new board to have credibility when it made that statement, it had to be staffed with people who understood the private sector, the IT sector in particular, and commanded respect and trust. Deepak Parikh from HDFC was made chairman, and other members of the board included a former NASSCOM chairman, CII member,
Read more