Ready for Parenthood?

Bianca London wrote this hilarious post on how to test if you are ready for parenthood (actually, she didn’t come up with the test but she did post the article with the 14 questions from the original source).

Here are the ones I liked best:

1)      “Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself.”

2)     “Buy a live octopus and a string bag. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hangout. Time Allowed: 5 minutes.”

3)     “Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.”

4)     “Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.”

5)     “Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.”

6)     “Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.”

7)     “Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.”

8)    “Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.”

9)     “Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.”

Find this amusing? Then check out all the tests with full details here.