Marriage and the Internet

If you’re lucky enough to be happily married (like me), then, as Anil Dash says:

“It's fun! You've got somebody you like who goes with you wherever you go, and it's someone who knows your sense of humor and what kind of food you like and what makes you laugh. BFF!”

Sadly though, that’s not a description of most people’s marriages. Can the Internet, creator of so many good things, improve on the very idea of marriage, wonders Scott Adams. He starts by pointing out that on the Internet:

“You can find lovers who don't want a commitment. You can find people willing to trade sex for travel experiences. You can find surrogates to have your baby, or you can adopt from another country. Then you can find a nanny who is willing to work primarily for room and board. You can find an intellectual partner, a business partner, a tennis partner, you name it.”

And so, says Adams:

“For the first time in history it is feasible to create a virtual spouse comprised of a dozen separate relationships. And each would be optimized. Instead of dragging your spouse to the opera or a baseball game, you go with someone who loves your hobbies as much as you do.”

And so he wonders will marriage “someday be seen as a pre-Internet thing”?

Thomas Rodham Wells takes Adams’ views to the next level and wonders how robots will transform human intimacy. Apart from household chores, he says that they will perform “care work, performing the labours of love without ever loving”. Consider the feminist view on households, he says:

“(Households) are factories because they apply human labour and tools to convert inputs like groceries, nappies, houses, etc. into things worth having, like meals, children, homes, etc.”

And if robots start doing those jobs:

“That means the standard 'team' of two adults will no longer be required.”

If you didn’t like that, consider Wells’ question:

“Is motivating unpaid drudgery really what love should be about?”

After all, he says:

“Love seems better - freer - when it isn't contaminated by material self-interest, power asymmetries, and psychological manipulation.”

That’s a whole lot of food for thought…so chew on it.

Reminder: Like I said at the beginning, I am happily married…with kid.