School Diary

My 10 yo daughter’s been going to school for a few weeks now. While the number of kids who come to school hasn’t changed, the folks who do send their kids have the same two reasons:

1. The kid learns more in the classroom than online (I know, I know, that’s a relative term, but still…)
2. They, er, put on weight sitting at home.

The reasons above are not necessarily in order of importance. Take this kid in the class who periodically announces that he will stop coming from the next day because of the Omicron variant. The next day, he’s still there in the classroom. After this had happened a few times, I asked his parents whether they really planned to pull him out. His mother’s response?

“No, he makes these ‘decisions’ by himself… In any case, if he stays at home, he will only put on weight.”

The war against obesity is very important.

 

Kindness. Compassion. Caring. All alien concepts with kids at this age. Like the time my daughter got hurt and needed daily dressing changes. As a result, she had to miss school for a couple of days. Upon her return, one girl snorted:

“I am sure it’s just a minor injury. She must be putting on such a big wrapping around it just to get sympathy.”

Another boy took this as an opportunity to advise my daughter:

            “Why were you running? You should sit in one place...”

If he’d stopped there, it would have been okay, but no, he had more to say:

            “… and watch TV. While eating snacks.”

He wasn’t kidding - he’s the same kid (from above) whose mom complained of weight gain problems.

 

When another kid fell sick and didn’t turn up for a couple of days, this was the classroom conversation that it set off:

1^st kid: “She must have died.”

2^nd kid: “I hope she died.”

3^rd kid: “M’am, for the field trip this year, let’s go visit her grave.”

Nothing like a trip to the graveyard to lift everyone’s spirits (pun intended).

            4^th kid: “Stay dead.”

We don’t need any zombies in the school.

 

But of course, they’re not always mean. They have crushes too (really). Like this kid who remembered a girl who had changed schools the year before:

“She is so smart, beautiful, and nice…”

And continued:

“…but I can’t marry her because she is from another religion.”

What the… ?!

 

Then there was this kid who gave everyone in the class a lollipop. He went and thrust one at m’am too. She snapped back, “What am I supposed to do with it?”. His answer: “M’am, you open the wrapper, then put it in your mouth, and enjoy. That’s what you do with it.”. From can’t-speak-a-word to detailed-instructions in the blink of an eye – most car companies would be proud of such a pickup.

 

There is this boy who keeps talking of the new car he is going to get… tomorrow. He will say this every day. My daughter keeps her eye peeled for his new car every day as she is being dropped and picked. But everyday he’s still in the same old car. I asked my daughter if she’d mock him about this. Her answer?

“No, we don’t indulge him on this topic. If nobody talks about his car, he shuts up eventually.”

Don’t feed the beast… how mature.

 

All of the above would suggest they’re having a gala time as school. But no, my daughter tells me that S.C.H.O.O.L stands for “Seven Cruel Hours of our Life”. Really?