Truthfulness
Before I start,
let me state that this blog isn’t to justify or encourage lieing. That said,
let me proceed.
When disgusted
with the repeated deception and lies of certain people, many people often wonder
whether that bunch totally lacks any sense of right and wrong. But let’s face
it: most people aren’t that amoral or immoral. So why then do they still lie?
Part of the
answer is in these lines from Grey’s
Anatomy:
“No matter how hard we try to ignore or
deny it, eventually the lies fall away, whether we like it or not. But here’s
the truth about the truth: It hurts. So we lie.”
That’s certainly
true: faced with the choice between doing what’s right and what’s easy, people
often take the easy way. Now step back and you’ll notice that the phrase doesn’t
say “what’s right and what’s wrong”, instead it says “what’s right and
what’s easy”. And that is the key: very few say to themselves, “I am
going to lie”. Usually, they’re taking the easy way out when they lie.
So far we’ve
talked about the teller of the lie. But what about the listener? Most of us
never stop to consider this side, but at times (and usually from people who
care about us), the lie is told to spare the listener! Remember Jack Nicholson’s
famous line in A Few Good Men:
“You can’t handle the truth.”
Or what Albus Dumbledore
once told Harry Potter ?
“The truth. It is a beautiful and
terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.”
This isn’t to
say that most people lie just for their own sake/benefit. Of course, they do.
But it’s also a fact that sometimes, the people who care about you lie to spare
you. As the Bible says, “The truth shall set you free”. Then again, the truth
can also unleash a storm and cause a lot of collateral damage.
Interesting, relevant and (believe it or not) true!
ReplyDeleteThere is one other dimension of human psychology in the context of choosing falsehood. It is correct that the fundamental reason for choosing falsehood is to escape from a situation. We can understand better by categorization. Let me try to suggest a way for that.
(1) Often a lie is compelled on us by some social pressure. One example,is that somebody invites you and you don't feel like attending. It is better to say, "I have a medical appointment" rather than, "I may be excused from attending"! They don't want to hear that. Another example is this: If I tell my boss I have some personal work and I want a day off the next day, there is a 95% chance that boss would replay, "No. That work needs attending to" or "there is a meeting possibility" or "not tomorrow,take it later". The easy way out is reporting sickness without need for prior intimation. This is Category B. I would say that by the boss coming to terms with your truth, he can make you avoid lies. Some bosses actually do not lead you to this kind of lies. Other bosses want your lies and you better lie! Let me call this the "first degree" of lies.
(2) Many of us tell lies because we fear something, we feel awkward to tell the truth, or we protect some relative or friend or organization due to affection or preference or some bonding. The lie is not meant to intentionally harm to someone else. Often the lie's purpose is to shield a favored person against criticism or bad name. It is simple escapism and mild cheating. Let me call this "second degree" of lies.
(3) In lies, this third category can have some merit for discussion about lies being "right" or "wrong". A person who has committed a crime tries to evade punishment by resorting to lies. People are even known to commit perjury, under oath in the court of law. The reason could be saving one's own skin or a relative's or friend's skin. Or,due to a threat from the criminal's gang sometimes.In such situations, the liars do real harm. Many of our politicians are liars of this caliber. They loot and then then they lie through their tooth.
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I would like to ask a raise a morality issue. There is no law against lies except in special circumstances. Voice against lies, if any, is at best a social opinion. Does habituating oneself to lies have anything to downgrade a person, in absolute terms? Or, is it the right attitude for us all to shrug our shoulders and say, "Why think too much. Let there be some lies and some falsehood. In me and in others. So what?"
Or, are we to consider, "Could there be a basis of Absolute Moral Code, something deeper - beyond ordinary religious morality like "thou shall not lie or steal" or something like that, which appears to be only social code in appearance, nothing really spiritual; what is 'moral' in them is never clear! We may not also believe either in God or in any prophet.
Can I get away by having done harm to many, having enjoyed myself with the benefits so derived, having kept the society and police and courts at bay with my cleverness? Death would come and then I am no more. So why not be a clever criminal and cheat the society and throw all morality ideas to the wind? Why should I care what the Buddha,the Christ, Krishna, or some other prophet of name said? If these themselves don't matter, why should I even think twice about any man-made law of social convenience? What is the answer to all these questions? A shoulder shrug?