Miltonian Minds

John Milton famously wrote, “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven”. After reading David Eagleman’s hugely entertaining set of (very) short stories, Sum: Tales from the Afterlives, (yes, each tale is about the afterlife), I was left wondering if that tendency of the mind doesn’t stop even with death…

 

That story is titled Egalitaire. Imagine a compassionate God, one who acknowledges that life isn’t (wasn’t?) black and white:

“Humans could be good in many ways and simultaneously corrupt and meanspirited in other ways. How was She to arbitrate who goes to Heaven and who goes to Hell?”

Stuck with this impossible choice, She simply eliminated the choice!

“She shut down the operations in Hell, fired the Devil, and brought every last human to be by Her side in Heaven.”

 

Most importantly now, everyone was treated equally. True equality had become the norm. You’d think the humans would be happy, but no, even in the afterlife, their minds were still, er, Miltonian. The meritocrats’ reaction is at least understandable:

“(They are pissed) that they’re stuck in an incentiveless system.”

Surely the communists would be happy? But no:

“They have finally achieved their perfect society, but only with the help of a God whom they didn’t want to believe.”

The rich and pompous?

“(They) have no penniless to disparage.”

And the bleeding hearts?

“(They) have no downtrodden to promote.”

 

All of which is why God is left weeping at the end of this particular tale:

“The only thing everyone can agree upon is that they’re in Hell.”

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