Her First Exams


Until this year, my 8 yo daughter used to have monthly tests (and no exams). You’d think she’d have been happy with that state of affairs, but no. “Kids with exams get study holidays”, she’d whine, “I don’t”. This year she got her wish: exams and study holidays. Little did she realize it also meant a lot of studying. A lot. Be careful what you wish for, kiddo, it might come true.

And boy, has it been brutal. For her and me both. The school had helpfully put out sample exam papers, and like any true blood Indian parent, I too had forced her to take it. Then there was the increased content to learn, far more than what she was used to in her monthly cycles. And last, but not least, she learnt to her dismay that study holidays are for, er, studying.

As you can imagine, my daughter was soon sick of “so much studying”. On weekdays, on weekends, on study holidays. And since I was the one tormenting her, we had many exchanges during that period:
-       “Why do you care so much about my marks?”, she whined. Because that’s what parents do.
-       “Studies, studies, studies. Always making me study. I’m just a kid, let me go and play.” She sure knows to play the I-am-a-kid card.
-       “Why do you send me to school if you plan to make me study at home as well? I’ll study at home or at school, not both. Pick one.” You wish, kiddo.
-       I tried to get her to abandon all hope, pointing out this was how life was going to be for the next 13 years. She was horrified. But it registered:
a)     “You said 13 more years, but since you lie about many things, it must be 20 years, right?”, she asked angrily days later. That one’s on you, baby. It’s 13 years if you do engineering, and endless if you take up medicine. Choose wisely.
b)     While reading the Harry Potter book where the evil Lord Voldemort rises again after ages, she saw these lines he told his followers:
“Welcome, Death Eaters. Thirteen years, thirteen years since last we met.”
She pounced on that part, saying, “Yes, I know what he must have felt. 13 years. The same period I have to keep studying!”. Yes, you do share a lot with the Dark Lord, munchkin. You’re such a fan that you even changed the wallpaper on the home laptop to a pic of He Who Must Not be Named.
-       She even tried to wriggle out of some subjects altogether. “I won’t study Computers. I heard only Maths is important.” Nice try.
-       Finally, in exasperation, she asked, “Why doesn’t your office send you to China?”

After such an extended war of attrition, she comes home after the exam, and announces, “I couldn’t answer some of the questions. And it’s all your fault: you didn’t teach me properly”. Damned if you, damned if you don’t: the cross every parent has to bear.

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