Pain of Long Names

This year, during a class test, my 7 year-old daughter tried writing her full name on the answer sheet (Until then, she’d write her name followed by the initials of the middle and last name). Since her middle name is short, she was able to guess (or memorize?) its spelling. But the last name (my name, Viswanathan) was just too long to even attempt. She told me that she’d replaced the last name with what I’ve been called at home: Vijay.

I didn’t believe her, thinking she was just trying to be funny. By now, she knows that convincing adults to believe something that a kid says is a lost cause. When the answer sheet came back, she triumphantly showed the name she’d written: the last name she’d written was indeed “Vijay”. And added for good measure:

“You never believe me, do you?”

It is only we South Indians who have such long names. As a result, nobody you know calls you by your name your entire life! Every set, from relatives to school friends to college friends to office colleagues, create a shortened version. Often, you end up with a different shortened version with each group! And in a globalized world, most of the world can’t even attempt to pronounce your name right. No wonder then that most urban South Indians give their kids short, “India neutral” (names which do not suggest your pedigree) names these days.

But all this made me realize what a great achievement it was for me to have memorized the spelling of my name as a kid! When I mentioned all this to a colleague, he remarked, “Probably that early childhood achievement was what set you on the path to clearing IIT JEE eventually”. I think my daughter and he would be great pals: they are both good at mocking my achievements… I should ensure they never meet.