Kids and their Grades
In 1st
standard, my daughter has monthly tests, not exams. That means less content per
cycle, but it also means the cycles are frequent. No wonder then that my
daughter feels that barely have I stopped “troubling her” (her take on what we
are doing to her life) for one round of tests that I am back for the next
round. One time she tried telling me that she didn’t want to be a “studies
champion”, only a “sports champion”.
I’ve found that convincing
a kid to do better at studies is very tough. I blame the grades system for
this. At least with the good old marks system, even with a score of 99, one
knew there was a little room for improvement. Not so with grades. When my
daughter makes a mistake and I tell her to work harder next time, here are some
of the arguments she has thrown back at me:
-
“I will get an A+ even if I make one
mistake.”
-
“If I got an A+, it means my m’am is happy
with me. Why do I have to improve?”
I’ve heard my
friends say they get pretty much the same arguments. In one case, the kid even
told his mom to stop getting so worked up and just “chillax”! Of course, that
only made her madder still…
And God help you
if the teacher mistakenly marks a wrong answer right. Like the time a neighbor’s
kid did all the division questions wrong. Unfortunately, the teacher had marked
them all right. Therefore, the kid dismissed her mom’s point that she needed to
learn division saying:
“I got them all right. That means not only
do I know division, I know it perfectly.”
Telling the kid
that the teacher made a mistake is obviously not an option. Because the next
time the kid gets something wrong, she’ll dismiss it saying the teacher
mis-corrected it! Heads they win, tails you lose.
I’m convinced kids
hone their logical and debating skills to the fullest by arguing against
studies! My daughter asked why I care so much about her studies:
“They are my
grades, right? Not yours. So why are you
so interested in what grades I get?”
Bottom-line: If
she has made her peace with it, why can’t I?! Undeterred, I tried explaining
that the best grades in school would get her to the best college which would then
leads to the best job which would give her what she has now begun to value:
money! Aha, she said, with that triumphant “I’ve found the flaw in your reasoning”
expression on her face:
“But I’ve already got some B’s in the past.
So I can’t get to the best college. So let’s stop trying anymore.”
Sorry to break
this to you, kiddo, but that ship hasn’t sailed yet.
I’m sure we’re
going to have many, many more rounds of such arguments…
The kids are doing great! They win you with their arguments or they win you with the charm of their arguments, even if the argument is invalid - I mean invalid from the adults' point of view! :-)
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