Is Your Self-Worth Related to Your Job?

“If you ask them (surgeons), they’ll tell you they’re going to be general surgeons, orthopedic surgeons, neurosurgeons. Distinctions which do more than describe their areas of expertise, they help define who they are, because outside the operating room, not only do most surgeons have no idea who they are, they’re afraid to find out.”

-         from Grey’s Anatomy

That is true about so many people: their job defines their identity (in their own minds). The better they are at their job, the more likely they are to feel this way. Because then their profession brings in the complements and respect. And who doesn’t like those? After all, it is such a sharp contrast to their spouse or kid or neighbor who barely notice what they do. Don’t believe me? Ask yourself: when was the last time you complemented your spouse? Nor do they respect you (why would they? Your skills usually have no relevance outside the workplace).

The problem with this way of life is that retirement hits such people very hard. Overnight, the complements and respect vanish altogether. The fall from the pedestal is not easy to deal with.

I think the trick is to not care too much about what others think, to not let your value of you be influenced by the opinion of others. Of course, that’s easier said than done: usually, you have to be born that way; it’s hard to become that way.

And if you thought that people born that way are lucky, think again: those people are usually accused of not being passionate about their work! Of just doing it for the money.

I guess, like so many other things, there is no perfect approach here…